I am not new to blogging, I’ve started and stopped numerous blogs, and often deleted them because friends/family have found them and it’s TMI… unnecessary for them to know…why depress them the way I am constantly depressed?
I’m trying again because I have no one now, i’ve told everyone who’ll listen that im desperate and alone and need someone to help me, talk to me, treat me like a human being… but alas no one’s replied, no one’s bothered, tbh I think they’re all sick of me…
Now I am alone, I cannot motivate myself to get up in the mornings, I’m always an hour or so late for work (even though I wake up 3 hours before I’m due to arrive and works 10 mins down the road from my house!), at work I can hardly concentrate, im miserable and HATE the sound of my name, it drives me crazy when I’m called for any reason.
I think at some point soon I won’t be able to handle living like this any more, life is meaningless, its pointless and its empty, so why do we live? and why do people insist on having kids? if you know life’s shit and not worth living, why bring more people in to it to suffer? Would you have a tea party in Hitler’s gas chambers? Would you invite people round to chat under the smoke of the Atomic Bomb?
To me the best thing to do is stop procreating, stop creating people who will suffer, no matter what we do someone will be evil, others sensitive, others useless, others amazing, others inventive, some may change the course of humanity but no matter what all of them will hurt, and many will suffer depression, rejection, suicidal tendencies, all of which are increasing in numbers as people lose human contact and live their lives behind Facebook and Twitter and wish they had the life their friends want them to believe they live!
I don’t get people, I don’t get life. I just want to die.