Bleeding royalty

As a kid, after having a blood test, I was told I had a low platelet count. At the time in History class we were learning about the Tsar of Russia whose son was born with Hemophilia, I was convinced I had it too. The symptoms are similar, though I have to say mine weren’t quite as deadly or dramatic.

Hemophilia: is a group of hereditary genetic disorders that impair the body’s ability to control blood clotting or coagulation, which is used to stop bleeding when a blood vessel is broken. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haemophilia)

I appeared to have the watered down version (from what i understand.. but then I’m no Dr). If the number of platelets is too low, excessive bleeding can occur.

I’ve always had this problem, I get a small cut and it takes 20 mins or more to clot, it’s never bothered me, it’s been more a challenge of what shapes I can make with the blood… yes sickening but tru!

Later, once I’d done a First Aid Course and learnt that you had to wrap a wound and not change the dressing to encourage clotting I tried doing that, but adding dressing after dressing on to a finger is stifling and yes.. my fingers did look big in them!

In any case, when I found out, I was so happy, the Tsar’s son had a low life expectancy, and though it wasn’t wat eventually killed him, I had hope it would be the death of me. Unfortunately 17 years after this diagnosis and still with a low platelet count, I’m STILL here… BBBOOOOOOOO

and as I’m not royalty I don’t think I have sufficient enemies who’ll have me killed in my sleep.

If you’d like to brush up on your knowledge of history and read about the Tsar’s son: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexei_Nikolaevich,_Tsarevich_of_Russia

Charity received reports of domestic violence attacks from 13,500 people – 80% of them women – in 2012

Domestic violence figures are disturbingly high, says charity

When the emergency services arrived at Rebecca Beattie’s home, a trail of blood led to where she lay, battered, on the kitchen floor. A day after he had promised to kill her if she left him, her partner returned home to find her with friends – attacking them and then repeatedly punching and kicking the mother of his son as she lay at his feet.

“I remember having this overwhelming feeling that this was the end of my life, this was it, but then I thought of my son and decided it couldn’t be the end – I had to see him again,” she said. “Later they told me that in the ambulance I was wailing, ‘This is not my life’.”

The war against domestic violence was meant to have been won, with a 40% decline in incidents since 1995, according to the British Crime Survey. But, in worrying new figures, the charity Citizens Advice has reported a substantial increase in the number of people telling advisers they are victims.

The figures reveal that 13,500 people – 80% of them women – reported domestic violence to Citizens Advice last year. There were 3,300 reported incidents between October and December 2012, an 11% increase on the same period the previous year. Although the figures should be treated with a degree of caution – a spike in reports of domestic violence, often considered to be a hidden crime, can arise as women feel more able to report it – Citizens Advice is sufficiently concerned to open specialist services for victims in 10 of its UK offices.

“These figures for domestic violence cases show it is disturbingly high and afflicts all levels of society – it haunts the lives of too many women and children,” said Gillian Guy, Citizens Advice chief executive.

Calling on the prime minister to honour a promise made on International Women’s Day to tackle the problem, she added: “As the scale of government cuts start to bite, we are concerned that our trend highlights how levels of domestic violence could get even worse. We need to see the government doing everything it can to deal with the problems of violence against women in our society and ensure they get the support they need.”

According to Home Office figures, 1.2 million women experienced domestic abuse last year in the UK, including half a million victims of sexual assault.

There is a hidden epidemic of abuse undermining decades of progress in the women’s liberation movement, according to Holly Dustin of the End Violence Against Women coalition.

“These current scandals show that abuse of women and girls is still a massive problem for our society, that we are only just starting to grapple with. We need more than policy and procedures, we need nothing less than a revolution in the way we think about this, across every section of society,” she said.

New research from Women’s Aid and Refuge – the largest provider of accommodation for domestic violence victims – reveals that, despite high-profile campaigns, many women, particularly teenagers, do not know where to turn for help if they are being abused.

The organisations, backed by Avon which financed a survey of more than 2,000 UK women, found a third did not know where to seek support, while among 16- to 18-year-olds the figure rose to 50%. In the same age group, 62% of respondents were not sure if excessive jealousy was a sign of domestic violence, while 15% could not say if punching was domestic violence. A 2005 study from the NSPCC found 43% of teenage girls questioned believed that it was acceptable for a boyfriend to be aggressive towards his partner.

Claire, who is now 22, was abused by her boyfriend from the age of 15 but did not recognise that she was a victim of domestic abuse. At first he would undermine her confidence and call her names, hack into her emails and check her texts. Then came the physical abuse, relentless kicks and punches, always landing on areas of her body where bruising wouldn’t show.

“I didn’t think domestic violence happened to teenagers – I just thought it was something that happened to married couples,” she said. “I didn’t really know what a healthy relationship was, I suppose. I had nothing to compare it to.”

She firmly believes children should be taught about domestic violence. “I look back at all the pointless things I learned in school, and just think they could have taught me this one key thing. I think it would help so many people not get into bad relationships, but also stop people causing them.”

Joanne Wood, who was abused by her partner from the age of 16, was similarly unaware of what was happening to her, not recognising that being forced to have sex was wrong. “I’d cry every time and he would do certain positions so he didn’t have to see me cry,” she said. “He was my boyfriend so I didn’t think it could be rape.”

With only 15% of 16- to 18-year-olds getting knowledge of domestic violence from school, a total rethink of sex and relationship education was needed, said Sandra Horley, chief executive of Refuge. “Refuge and Women’s Aid are struggling to make a difference but we can’t do it on our own, we need proper government funding and commitment to get sex and healthy relationships education into every school in the UK,” she said.

She added that 50% of Refuge services had been hit by funding cuts since the introduction of austerity measures. “Finding a bed for an abused women is like gold dust,” she said. “These are worrying times for the domestic violence sector, services are being eroded so it is time to call for a sea change and argue that prevention is better than cure.” The Speaking Out in Her Name campaign from Refuge and Women’s Aid is calling for statutory relationships education, a move that has been blocked by the Department for Education, according to Stella Creasy, Labour MP for Walthamstow. “The government wants to leave it up to schools whether they teach children about relationships, but I can’t understand why in schools children will be guaranteed education about finance, but not about consent,” she said. “I am worried the government does not understand the true costs of that choice.”

A Department for Education spokesman said all schools were encouraged to provide a broad programme of sex and relationship education. “They must set an age-appropriate curriculum which best suits their pupils, and consult with parents when drawing up sex and relationship education policies,” he said.

Jeremy Browne, Home Office minister for crime prevention, said: “Domestic and sexual violence are dreadful crimes and we are serious about tackling the abuse suffered by women and girls across the country. Through our This is Abuse campaign, we have taken great strides in challenging unacceptable attitudes in teenage relationships and in helping teenagers to recognise abuse when they see it.”

He added that the government had ringfenced nearly £40m until 2015 to help fund domestic and sexual violence support services.

Rebecca, who was abused from the age of 17 until last year, is now 24. After the final attack left her needing reconstructive surgery on her face, her boyfriend pleaded guilty to assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm and was jailed for 16 months. She specifically asked for her real name to be used in this article. “I want to show that I am not going to let him scare me any more; he’s not in control of my life,” she said. “I do feel safe now, I am protected – and I want other women to know you can leave an abusive relationship, there is light at the end of the tunnel.”

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/mar/07/domestic-violence-figures-citizens-advice

I want to run away….I wanna fly away….

Sing with me now!!!

Or don’t .. ur voice isn’t THAT good 😛

But yes I do… i cant take guilt.. so it’ll never happen.. plus im an adult ud think i cud just pick up sticks and just say: ‘I’m moving to the moon, visit me when u can’ and get up and go… alas.. my life isn’t like that.. this is wat wud happen for me:

in my head: ‘I wanna go to the moon, but i cannot go there with no job, it’d be irresponsible, plus I’d have to set up for a replacement at work, train him/her, get everyone/everything sorted, tie up loose ends, then I’d be able to leave.’ Then the guilt of having left my job, stressing about whether or not everything is OK.. guilt of leaving my family.. will they be OK.. have I let them down??? Are they disappointed in me?

Guilt eats me up… i literally want to scream… i feel so suffocated atm.. so much responsibility and I enjoy none of it.. and feel fulfilled by none of it.. and feel i don’t do enuf … i’m deffo not appreciated and let’s face it, I’m ALWAYS wrong!

AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH

Feel my wrath…

I genuinely feel for amenities companies who have to deal with me… I’ve worked in this job for 6 years… i’m unhappy… and HATE bad service. What most people fail to realise is though I’ve never worked for an electricity/gas/water company, I have to work with them everyday so i know their rules. I am fully aware what their staff can and cannot do.

Often I’m able to educate new staff on the limitations of their position.

Basically I’m what everyone hates, a very clued up customer, who you cannot shut up with things like ‘no this doesn’t work’ or ‘or systems are limited’ or ‘that’s a difference department’ or similar weak excuses.

Since encountering all this bad service I’ve realised the only think that gets people scared is complaints made against them, too many and you risk losing your job. And though that is NEVER my aim for people, if you choose not do your job properly I’m not the customer who will be quiet and let you be, I am not a walkover, and you will regret being lazy.

On the UP side… eventually when I’m stubborn and persistent my problems get sorted in one… VERY LONG.. call…

The DOWN side…. I hate upsetting people, genuinely it throws me off course, ruins my day, stresses me out.

I’m so done with guilt, wish it was something I could control, i feel guilty allll the time. Had to cancel on a friend cuz I’ve already made plans… i feel guilty cuz I let them down. Wasn’t able to help someone… guilty. Current job… stuck here outta guilt… guilt rules my life and ruins it too.

 

I want to be free and relax and just be.

*YAWN* same hum drum of family life…..

So I’m back…. i can hear the cheers!

this is how my day is panning out: Work…. dull

going home to a dinner party with a bunch of my parents’ friends… dull.. no clue why I have to stick around… but they’ve asked me to ‘help out’ and I feel guilty letting them down.

I know to most people helping family out is a no brainer, and honestly I don’t mind most of the time, the problem is I do it ALLL the time, something breaks… I fix it… if it needs doing .. I’ll end up doing it… to the extent that pay and display parking… I have to call up and do for them.. well I did until I snapped.. why can you pick up a phone and call me and give me all the details but are unable to call the number you’re telling me to call and quote details you’re quoting me so sort yourself out?!?!

the mind boggles.

Here I am trying my best to be a good daughter, not to let them down. Unfortunately I fear no matter how hard I try or how much I do it’s never enough, I always feel like I let my family down and they are ashamed of me and I shame them in one way or another.

It’s become blatantly obvious that my happiness comes 10th to their needs/wants and anything else that can possibly be put ahead of me.

It’s seriously disheartening to realise society interests your parents more than your happiness and needs. The snide comments which are hailed at you because you refuse to conform to society’s idea of beauty or whatever…. ‘u ALWAYS look a mess’, ‘go but DONT show us up’, ‘go but dress appropriately’

Honestly sometimes I feel I am 3 years old and need help with my laces!

I found the problem_ _ _ _ _ _s

I’d say there’s one but that’d be lying to you, i have several:

1. Depression is hereditary: my mother had it and TA DAAAAAA so do I.. I’ve suffered depression since i was a kid

2. Loneliness: I have no one to really open up to, yes I speak to friends, but if something was bothering me would I pick up the phone and say ‘hey, i need to talk’? HELL NO! it would be uncalled for, and totally not the relationship I have with ppl. In fact my mobile phone hardly ever gets used for voice calls, and when it does its more ‘how’s that shopping list going’ than anything else.

3. A messy breakup: no screaming, so shouting, no shots fired …no mention of who’s done that lately!!!….. but 13 years and we’re done….

4. Loneliness: I feel more alone as I have no1 to talk things through with

5. Boredom: I have a LOT of time to twiddle my thumbs… and the devil makes evil thoughts for little worked brains… so I think a lot and that generally gets me low

6. Is anyone happy? It appears everyone around me is miserable, as much or more than me? I don’t know if you can measure that.. fact is everyone’s low.. may be it’s SAD (Seasonal Affected Disorder) or may be life’s shit and people should really take my advise and STOP HAVING CHILDREN… why put more ppl through life’s hell?

7. Nothing to look forward to: what’s to smile about? what’s to get up and go for? NOTHING

it’s all boring, dull, lonely, isolating, depressing.